. You would have loved the gift I didn’t bother getting you. When I have a birthday, I take the day off.
Funny 60th Birthday Quotes: More One-liners 60: If age is only in the mind, someone should tell that to my bones. Melanie White. At 60, “walking the dog” actually means walking the dog.
But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off. You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
When I was born, I was so surprised that I didn’t talk for a year and a half. Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. With age comes wisdom. You’re one of the wisest people I know.
The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet. I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do. You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime. You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar. Yung No Mo.
I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date!. You’re not 40, you’re 18. With 22 years of experience!.
Birthdays are like boogers. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe!. You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!. Old enough to know better, young enough to still do it.
Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday. I’m just here for the cake.
If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Then hang around a bunch of old, fat people. Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday. And assume I said them. Happy birthday!. There are lots of good people in the world.
One of them would like to wish you a happy birthday. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday, but never remembers her age. Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty. Last week the candle factory burned down.
Everyone just stood around and sang, 'Happy Birthday.' . Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
Looking 50 is great. If you’re 60.
Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional. So far, this is the oldest I have ever been.
It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you. Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit. But check it for wrinkles first!. You’re so old that when you looked at your birth certificate, it said expired. People say that the good die young, so I guess that make you an old badass!. It’s proven that at the age of 41, you start to lose your memory. We can only hope!.
Another year, another new place that aches. It's okay to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I've already alerted the fire department. An old fart is as good as a new one. Don't think of it as getting older, think of it as becoming a classic. The younger you try to look, the older you actually are. Count your blessings, not your wrinkles. May you live as long as you want to, and want to as long as you live.
Wishing you many more candles and a cake big enough to fit them all on. You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by 'for your age.' . Don't forget to wear your sunglasses when the cake is served. Happy birthday.
The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune. No wise man ever wished to be younger. Age is a high price to pay for maturity. When I die, I want it to be on my 100th birthday, in my beach house on Maui, and I want my husband to be so upset that he has to drop out of college.Happy birthday to you and yours! For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: Show Details NecessaryHubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam.
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100+ Happy Birthday Funny Wishes, Quotes, Jokes & ImagesLooking for Happy Birthday funny wishes, quotes, jokes and images to put a smile on someone's face on their birthday? Whether it's for him or for her, a friend or a colleague, or maybe even a belated birthday wish, we've got you covered with our huge selection of funny birthday wishes.Write them in birthday cards, send them by SMS or email, or message someone on Facebook or Twitter. No matter how you send one of these funny wishes you're sure to brighten their birthday and make them laugh!Use these quick-links to jump to a particular section, or scroll down the page to see the entire collection of funny birthday quotes and wishes.Last updated: February 19, 2019For more ideas, take a look at.Happy Birthday Funny QuotesA selection of happy birthday funny quotes you can use to wish someone a very happy birthday and poke fun at their age on their birthday. Use them as part of a funny birthday card message, or even as a Facebook caption.Birthdays are good for you.
Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest! (But it has also been scientifically proven that too many will kill you.)Don't let ageing get you down. It's too hard to get back up again!Middle age.
When 'happy hour' is a nap!If gray hair is a sign of wisdom, then you're a genius!What goes up but never comes down? Happy Birthday Funny WishesSome funny happy birthday wishes and messages you can use in a funny birthday card message to friends or family on their birthday.I believe you forgot my birthday present last year, so now I'm returning the favor.
Happy Birthday!A wise man once said, 'Forget about your past, you cannot change it'. I'd like to add: 'Forget about your present, I didn't get you one'.Happy Birthday to a Mom/Dad who's smart and funny and good looking, from a daughter/son who inherited all your best qualities. It's your birthday?
Let's get up to some mischief!Funny birthday wishes about getting older:It's OK to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I've already alerted the fire department.You know, they say that age is really all in the mind. The key is to prevent it from trickling down into your body.Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.You're how old?! Better take that cake outdoors to light the candles! Have a very happy birthday.Congratulations, you've finally reached the wonder years. Wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you left your phone?
Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
Unknown. I thought you might need some help with the candles.
Happy Birthday!Personalize these happy birthday funny wishes with the age of the person.Don't think of it as turning insert age. We're here to celebrate the 10th anniversary of your insert age -10th birthday.Looking insert age is great - if you're sixty.For under 40s: You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!insert age?! I demand a recount!Congratulations on the 10th anniversary of your XXth birthday! Here's to many more.Happy birthday!
And remember you're not insert age.you're 18 with XX years' experience.Insert age and still too young to plan your own surprise party!You're 60? That's only 16 in Celsius. Happy birthday!Deepest sympathies on your insert age birthday. I don't have birthdays anymore, I level up!Fill in the gaps: HY BT.
![Quotes Quotes](http://www.wishafriend.com/birthday/uploads/11908-funny-birthday-quotes.jpg)
Nice try- HAIRY BUTTOCKS.Happy Birthday Dad! When I grow up I want to be just like you. But hopefully with more hair! Love, your son.Middle age is when your age begins to show around your middle.
Bob HopeYou know you're 40 when your back is hairier than your head.What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks, I'll never part with it!A man has reached middle age when he's warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. Henry Youngman.
Happy Birthday Funny Belated WishesOh no! Did you forget their birthday?
Apologize with one of these funny belated happy birthday messages. I'm sure it will get you back in their good books.I'm so sorry I forgot your birthday. The good news is that I also forgot your age. Happy Belated Birthday!I'm so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn't think you would live this long. Happy Birthday!I promise this card isn't late. It is intentionally arriving after your birth-day, because I think you deserve a whole birth-month.
Happy Birth-month!I know you think this card is a few days late. It's actually worse than that. This is your card from 2010 that I only just got around to sending. Happy Belated Birthday!Happy Birthday! Don't think of this as a late birthday card.
Consider it a very early one for next year. Here's wishing you a wonderful year ahead! Some say the glass is half empty, others say the glass is half full. It's your birthday, just drink whatever's in the glass!On your special day, I wish you peace, love, insight, relaxation, fun, knowledge, romance, friendship.
And all that stuff that doesn't cost anything.Just imagine all the things you'd want to hear on your birthday.and assume I wrote them here!For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life.At your age, people expect you to be calm, dignified and sober. Disappoint them.You're older; you're wiser; you're sophisticated. Far too sophisticated to be concerned with material things like presents.At least you're not as old as you'll be this time next year.If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember.You can always change your birthday on Facebook!A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age.You're turning the perfect age. You're old enough to recognize your mistakes but young enough to make some more.
Happy birthday!The best part of being over forty is that you did most your stupid stuff before the internet.Don't worry, they are not gray hairs, they are wisdom highlights. You just happen to be extremely wise. For over 40s: Happy birthday! I'm so pleased to hear you're over the hill instead of under it.By the time you're your age, you've learned everything - you only have to remember it! Many happy returns on your birthday.I spent 3 hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday message for you and then I gave up. Happy Birthday.When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old. Mark TwainYou are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
John GrierHappy 21st again!If things get better with age, then you're approaching magnificent! Why did the teddy bear refuse a slice of birthday cake? He was already stuffed.You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a bathroom without thinking, 'I may as well pee while I'm here.'
The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.Did you hear about the insert age year old who was still cool? Yeah, me neither.Do you know why candles are always put on top of birthday cakes?Because it's far too difficult to put them on the bottom.You know you're old when you turn down the lights to be economical instead of romantic.You know you're old when getting lucky means a short wait in the doctor's office.You know you're old when you have a party and the neighbours don't even realize.Did you know that insert date is a date when no famous men or women have ever been born?None, only babies!